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Sunday, December 30, 2007

Middle East Peace RAW SEX TALK

NOTE: This blog post is for mature adults only.
Even though this Author is anything BUT a MATURE adult.

Thanks to David Landau, Editor of the self-hating Israeli paper Ha'aretz and the suggestion he made to Condi Rice to rape Israel, we now have some new additions to the political lexicon of Middle East Peace additions with a bit of a sexual undertone:

  • Intervention - gentle pressure to remove Israel from its security belt and historical homeland.
  • Rape - vigorous pressure to do same.
  • Afterglow - The good feeling experienced after being massaged by the US Ambassador in that you have been invited to attend an exclusive gathering at his home to meet and discuss political matters with the long-legged Secretary of State.
  • Doggy Style-How Israel negotiates. Rolls over on its back and begs.
  • Condi-lingus - praising the afore-mentioned Secretary of State.
  • Dysfunction - when a person of left-leaning, radical, progressive ideology suggests how peace can be achieved.
  • Impotent: describing any Israeli Prime Minister with a stupid looking Comb-over or an Israeli peace negotiating team.
  • Exhibitionism: Bragging to the media that you've "screwed" Israel in public
  • Menage a quatre: Four on one, Also known as Annapolis the US, Peace Quartet, Arab League and Palestinians vs. Israel
  • HOT FANTASY: when David Landau will next invite his paper's owner, Amos Schocken who suggested cancelling HaTikvah as Israel national anthem, to meet with afore-mentioned, et. al.
  • Snuff Film: When the Mainstream Media glorifies the murderous homicide bomber, after an attack while ignoring the dead Israelis splattered across the pavement.
  • Missionary position : how David Landau sits in his editor's chair.
  • STD: sexually transmitted disease-reading Haaretz, NY Times, Wash Post, or LA Times
  • Dementia: left untreated, what eventually happens to your brain when you read the editorials of the above.
  • Hand-Job: Saudi Punishment for Stealing
  • Condom: What the US State Department, the FBI, and the Mainstream media use to keep in the truth about terror organizations like Fatah, advocacy groups like CAIR, and "moderate, friendly" governments such as Saudi Arabia.
  • Below the Age of Consent: Describes when a government is too stupid to make the right decisions to protect country. Usually associated with any Israeli prime minister with the first name of Ehud.
  • Bestiality: An abnormal love of negotiating with terrorist animals.
  • Camel Toe: What happens when a terrorist's girlfriend steps on your foot during the above.
  • Crack-whore: Describes the journalistic integrity of the average press reporter in the Middle East.
  • AIDS: Arafat/Abbas Israel Destruction Syndrome--Islamic Terrorism. Some people with political AIDS look healthy, but its a show for the cameras, they will always have AIDS in their bodies.
  • HIV: Hamas Islamic Violence. As Stan Lee used to say "nuff said".
  • Date Rape Drug: The desire for peace becomes so intoxicating that it robs you of all your ability for conscious decision-making.
  • "NO Honey, Lets Just Hug": Palestinian Negotiation tactics, lots of discussion but they are never willing to consummate the relationship.
  • Giving Her Diamonds: The false hope that providing 7.4 Billion Dollars to the Palestinian terrorists, they will submit to your wishes.
  • Whats yours...: What my Mom tells my Dad, and what the Palestinians tell Israel at the start of every new "peace initiative". The full quote is, "Always remember, what's your is mine, and what's mine is.......MINE.
  • Incest: Describes those Jews, who like the staff of Haaretz who screw their own. Speaking of Jews who screw there own, remember Nominations for 2007's most self-hating Jews close Midnight Saturday 12/29. OK in reality I will probably be asleep by then snoring loudly and gripping the TV remote, so if you get it in before I come back from Minyan Sunday Morning, I will still take it. Click to submit your nomination UPDATE Most Self Hating Jew Award Nominees.
The idea for this post, along with some of the definitions above came from my chaver, Yisrael Medad who's blog, My Right Word, is one of my daily stops (and should be one of yours)


Jeremayakovka said...

The basic phrases, getting screwed OR nailed OR laying pipe all sound like suicide (homicide) bomb attacks whose "shrapnel" is largely improvised.

Know what a "dirty Sanchez" is? A "dirty Arafat": you are forced to negotiate with Arafat - he gropes you under the table, then pulls weapons out of his ass and rubs your face in it.

Don't tell me you haven't yet thought of anything for "camel toe"?

"Hand job": Sharia-derived punishment for stealing.

"Back door man": a terrorist who digs a tunnel to kill or kidnap Israeli soldiers from sovereign Israeli territory.

"Brokeback Dirtpile": the Rachel Corrie biopic.

"Snuff film": the Daniel Pearl beheading video.

YMedad said...

Thanks for the "Kippah Tip" or should that be, at your blog, the Lid Lead?

Anyway, the actual challenge of this terminology exercise is how not to use the more, shall we say, descriptive words that deal with the subject although, believe me, I am quite pregnant with cunning linguistics. Too bad that Landau has a son who lives across the Green Line. Is that penis envy?

Jeremayakovka said...

Getting your "rocks off": first Palestinian Intifada (1987-90)

Making "the earth move": IDF bulldozing Pali terrorist houses