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Monday, March 31, 2008

A Perfect Solution to the Jerusalem Issue

Jerusalem is arguably the most difficult issue to solve in the ongoing Israel/ Palestinian "peace" process. The Palestinians are demanding control of the holy city, the Temple Mount and Kotel because they claim it is where Mohamed rose to heaven which makes it the third holiest site in Islam. Of course this is a very recent claim and there is nothing about Jerusalem in the Koran. Some people claim that the only reason that the Palestinians want Jerusalem is their continued attempt to de-legitimize Judaism's historical claim to Israel

For Jews,Jerusalem is the Holy City, and the Temple Mount is the holiest site in all of Judaism, not only did the mount house the two temples to God, it is where Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac and where Jacob had the dream of the ladder to heaven. For two thousand years Jews have prayed for a return to Jerusalem.

Reports that Israel's government is willing to split Jerusalem with the Palestinians and give up sovereignty over the Temple Mount has raised the ire of the Jewish People. Polls have shown that the Israel people are against it, the majority of the Knesset is against it, protests and petitions have come from groups such as the OU and the ZOA. Yet the Palestinians claim that there can be no peace without handing over the holy city. What can Olmert do to satisfy Israel the Jewish People and make a peace with the terrorists at the same time.

Thankfully I have a solution, not only will it work but I got the Idea from an Arab, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad . Remember a few months ago when he suggested that we move Israel to Alaska? Well, we can do the same thing with Arab East Jerusalem--move it. And I am willing to give the Arabs a lot more options Than
Ahmadinejad gave the Jews--in fact I have an entire list of cities that they can pick to move East Jerusalem to:

  • Miami Beach Florida- This one is a no-brainier, their third holiest city for our third holiest city. We will throw in the "early bird" special dinners, and access to Miami's holiest site (the Fontainebleau Hotel).
  • Secaucus New Jersey-Remember that old song "Raucus in Secaucus"? This site is perfect for them, and the best part of it is no one in the United States will notice (except maybe NY Jet Fans but we would be much happier).
  • London, England- After all Tony Blair thinks Israel should be more flexible on Jerusalem, lets try and see how flexible the British can be. The good part of the solution is that Abbas' Fatah wouldn't have to set up satellite dishes for communications, the could use Prince Charles' ears.
  • Vatican City- Lets face it the Palestinian claim to Catholicism's Holy City is just as vailid as their claim to Judaism's. The extra benefit of this solution is that it might help repair the "bad vibes" between the Pope and Islam.
  • New York City- The "Jewish Lobby" needs a vacation--lets let the Palestinians Control the banks and media for a while.
  • Washington DC- This is probably the best solution of all. Think about it--we give away part of Washington, Condi Rice wont be able to force her Dhimmi solutions to the Mideast conflict upon Israel. We know that House Speaker Pelosi would endorse this one, after all she looked so go with her head covering when she visited Syria.
I know that there will be protests to any of these solutions, some may say, "how could you make up reasons to take away a city from a people who have an historic attachment, and give it to people who have no real claim to it?" Well let me answer those people like this:

I Agree.


Jeremayakovka said...

Important rhetorical rebuttal to the jihadist and antizionist attacks coming from Ahmedinejad and others. Make it more forcefully, though.

Kick the legs out from people in power, don't just make a whimsical, if valid, counterpoint.

Anonymous said...

Since swapping is the idea, how about the pali's get all of Jerusalem and Israel get all of Mecca. That ought to satisfy the Ahmadinejads of the world.

Susan Duclos said...

Good solution. I agree too!!

Anonymous said...

Sammy you are a genius!!!! They are each such Perfect Solutions, it's a hard to decide between them. Should give all of them to the Arabs to appease them that much more? Wouldn't we then be good super Dhimmis... even if they kill us anyway, just for the fun of it?!?!?

Hmnnn, food for thought, food for thought...

Batya said...

You can give them the moon.

Esser Agaroth said...


I think that you point out some important mistakes in the Universe:

1) It is illegal according to int'l law to deport people from one country to another.

2) Jews actually care that such a law exists.

3) Yishma'elim are allowed to bring it up w/o any threat of reprisal due to the double standards which exist.

Unknown said...

Well, if that was supposed to be funny, I didn't laugh!!

I do agree, that the statement made by Ahmedinjad was pretty stupid, but still totally denying Palestine's right to Jerusalem too is equally stupid!!

Well, the Jews may have historical ties to the city of Jerusalem, but so do the Arabs. As for the city of Jerusalem not being mentioned in the Quran, I'm not sure. But I do know that Jesus is portrayed in the Quran as an important prophet - Isa Nabi. Hence, the city of the prophet's birth and death is quite significant to the Arabs!

So what is the solution? We have two parties who have claims to the city of Jerusalem, and the both parties don't seem to get along. But wait, is it just two parties that have claims??

NO! Not at all. Jerusalem is a city similar to the Vatican City. THat is to say that Jerusalem is considered an important city, both culturally and historically by more than one nation. In fact, every nation where Christianity, Judaism or Islam prevails has a certain claim to the city! Hence, why not make the city of Jerusalem a separate state?

As we see, the Vatican City is the smallest, yet most peaceful region in the world! Why not make Jerusalem the same?

Of course there are certain issues that have to be dealt with, but still this is the most viable and practical solution when in comes to the city of Jerusalem!