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Saturday, August 2, 2008

Barack Obama's UNPUBLISHED Energy Solutions

Earlier this week Senator Barack Obama announced a keystone to his Energy Plan:
"There are things that you can do individually though to save energy, Making sure your tires are properly inflated, simple thing, but we could save all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling, if everybody was just inflating their tires and getting regular tune-ups. You could actually save just as much."
On first glance that seems a bit silly. According to most of the sources published since the Senator's announcement, if the 27% of America driving around with under-inflated tires, fixed their problem the effect on oil consumption would be minor. Now Senator Obama is a bright man, in fact he will tell you that he is the smartest man that ever lived, there had to be MORE.

So I sent my Cousin Ben the Spy to find out if Obama had anything else up his energy sleeve. Ben was the perfect man for the job. When he was in college, he spent his summers on a rig in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea drilling for extra virgin olive oil (which he tells me you get from UGLY trees).

Within an hour I got a fax from Ben with the rest of Obama's energy solutions. On the top of the paper was a picture of a cloud with a hand protruding from it. The hand was holding a pen and looking as if the pen had just written them, there were words "from the desk of the Messiah."

Below the heading it said..

Solutions for Solving the Energy Crisis
  1. Inflate tires
  2. Raise Gasoline Tax by 10 cents a gallon
  3. Harness Hot Air: Place Windmills inside of Congress
  4. Solar Energy: Collect Radiance coming from my face
  5. Mechanical Energy: Hook Axelrod up to generator let him dance around flip-flops and Bill Reilly's phone calls trying to book the candidate on the Factor
  6. Cut down time people use their radios, bring back the "fairness doctrine"
  7. Change Execution Methods from lethal injection to public stoning like they do in the old country. Do it outside during the day, so no lights will be needed
  8. Force workers to join unions, raise the minimum wage, force "big box" stores such as Wal-Mart and Target to contact, closing stores and saving energy
  9. Bring the troops home prematurely from Iraq. This will not only save energy from the military operations, but by appeasing and emboldening the terrorists, it will lead to attacks on US soil (everyone knows that a blown up building uses very little electricity).
  10. Have the FCC force the TV networks to change their programming. ALL OPRAH ALL THE TIME. Less filming, writing etc. save tons of energy.
After I finished reading, I called Cousin Ben, the spy again. "Ben" I asked "Are you sure you got the right paper? Did you look at it? He has already announced the first two , but the rest of them look totally ridiculous" "Sammy" Cousin Ben countered , "are they any more ridiculous than the two he already announced?" I thought about it for a second, and as usual, my Cousin Ben was right. All of Barack Obama's energy solutions have been totally absurd.

For more on Obama's Oil Policy

Obama: Energy Genius

Did you see the 29 July 2008 Obama speech in Missouri where he said, "There are things you can do individually, though, to save energy. Making sure your tires are properly inflated – simple thing. But we could save all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling if everybody was just inflating their tires. And getting regular tune-ups. You'd actually save just as much!"

Watch the video here (please!). I was ...... dumbfounded. So too apparently were many Atlas readers. The best email was Richards (he suggests the ingenius that the tire gauge should be Obama's new symbol -- replacing his presumptive presidential seal). Go To Atlas Shrugs for all the fun Obama: Energy Genius

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