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Thursday, June 17, 2010

ATTENTION! Whoever Left A Box of Human Heads on A Southwest Airlines Flight: Please Pick Them Up

I have heard of weird things left in airport lost and founds, but this true story is over the top. A Southwest Airlines employee in Little Rock Arkansas checked out a box headed to be shipped to Fort Worth Texas and found it contained 40-60 human heads.
"It wasn't labeled or packaged properly," said Ashley Rogers, a Southwest spokeswoman. "They called the local authorities."
The box was supposed to go to the Fort Worth office of Medronic Medical research company based in Minnesota (maybe they have found Al Franken's brain), but the Little Rock police turned the package over to the county coroner for an investigation of where they came from and if they were properly obtained.
"We've come to the conclusion that there is a black market out there for human body parts for research or for whatever reason," said Pulaski County coroner Garland Camper. "We just want to make sure these specimens here aren't a part of that black market and underground trade."
Word is when the story hit the MSNBC office, Keith Olbermann objected to the use of the term Black Market as it was obviously an attempt by the State of Arizona to racial profile people who trade in Illegal body parts.
Medtronic spokesman Brian Henry said it is common to ship body parts for medical education and research, but he said it is rare for a shipment to be seized.

"We expect our suppliers to follow proper procedures," he said.

Camper described the items as 40 to 60 human heads.

But Henry said they were "four full cranial specimens and 40 pairs of temporal bone ear blocks."
40 pairs of temporal ear blocks?  Maybe they came from  members of Congress,heck the way they listen to their voters it is obvious that they do not use their hearing anyway.
He identified the supplier as JLS Consulting of Wynne, Ark. JLS's business license was revoked in December, according to the Arkansas Secretary of State's online database.
Company founder Janice Hepler did not return phone calls Wednesday. Her voice mail indicated it was full and no longer accepting messages.

But in an earlier interview with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, she blamed the problem on the private courier she had hired to transport the body parts.
President Obama is expected to comment on the situation, blaming on the weak body part regulation of the previous administration.  Secretary of State Clinton was initially relieved to find out that the box was not addressed to her husband, who has been known to travel all around the world searching for some heads, particularly from strange women. Once her husband was in the clear, she held a news conference to blame Israel, saying specifically, that if the Jewish State was serious about peace, there would not be any boxes of heads headed traveling to her home state of Arkansas.

To read the entire news story of the lost heads click here to go to the NBC Fort Worth report.


Dan Collins said...

Dude, where are my heads?

Anonymous said...


You're a funny guy. :)