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Friday, July 6, 2007

Gordon Brown's Approved Semantic Substitutes for the term War on Terror


British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has instructed his ministers not to use the word "Muslim" in connection with the recent terrorist incidents in Glasgow and London, the Daily Express reports. “There is clearly a need to strike a consensual tone in relation to all communities across the UK,” a spokesman told the paper. “It is important that the country remains united.” The phrase "War on Terror" has also been dropped in an effort to improve community relations with the nation's Islamic community, the paper reported. (From Fox.com)


Let me suggest that Prime Minister Gordy is absolutely correct, he is just catching up with the rules Congressional Democrats made in April...lets face it the best way to avoid more terrorism is to ignore the truth. And we do not want to insult the Terrorists by calling them...well Terrorists---->so to help out good old Gordy and the DemsI am here to offer some substitute terms:

Top Ten Substitutes for the Term "War on Terror"

  • The War On Sheldon--the kid who used to beat me up in third grade.
  • The War Against hard rolls at restaurants.
  • War on British Doctors that Come From other countries.
  • War on the French--Come on everyone will go along with this one, even the French
  • The War against Weddings or Bar Mitzvahs that don't serve Kishka
  • The War against fat people wearing Spandex at the beach
  • The War against Lousy Toupees
  • The War against Sermons and Chazzanut during summer Shabbos services
  • War on Slow Drivers in the HOV lane
  • War against Sheldon JR the Kid that Bullies my son Gordy Jr in 7th grade
  • War against the return of Disco
  • War against really bad people who happen to be associated with the most peaceful religion in the world but we dont mean Mean Muslims because all terrorists are not Muslims--and all Muslims are not terrorists---Just most--I mean a very few of them....we really like the Muslims despite the fact that they want to take over the world--I really mean it I promise.
  • The War against Catholic Guilt. Sorry Fellow Jews, we didn't invent guilt --they did, we just learned to market it better.
  • And the most popular one all across Britain , Europe, the Arab World and the Democrat's Website the Daily Kos: The war against the Jews.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Excellent. I especially like "The War against fat people wearing Spandex at the beach" and "War on Slow Drivers in the HOV lane."

I suppose Gordon Brown would also call "black", "white", and vice versa.