PETA Says Term A*S HOLE is Cruel to Animals

At a recent meeting of city officials in Dallas County, Texas, a small racial brouhaha broke out. County commissioners were hashing out difficulties with way the central collections office handles traffic tickets. Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield found himself guilty of talking while white. He observed that the bureaucracy "has become a black hole" for lost paperwork. Fellow Commissioner John Wiley Price took great offense, shouting, "Excuse me!" That office, the black commissioner explained, has become a "white hole." Seizing on the outrage, Judge Thomas Jones demanded that Mayfield apologize for the "racially insensitive analogy," in the words of the Dallas Morning News' City Hall Blog

Now the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has taken the cue from Judge Jones, at a press conference today in VA, the animal rights group demanded that people stop using the term Asshole. They say it is just a form of cruelty to the poor donkey. They have announced that any movie that uses the term will be picketed and brown paint will be thrown at the screen. PETA also announced an objection to the term Animal Crackers the cookie, which they say teaches little boys and girls to be cruel to animals. They also object to the term Animal Crackers as a substitute for the word crazy and are filing a law suit against the the estate of the Marx Brothers demanding that they change the name of their famous 1930 movie.

" Its Horrible the way people talk about animals," said the PETA representative, " We also object to the term Raining Cats and Dogs, as it encourages people to throw their pets out of the window. No more 'dog eat dog world' as it depresses the dogs to find out that people think there is canine cannibalism. Finally we object to 'rat races, snail's pace and Catty women. All of these terms are now banned because of their cruelty to animals"

Folks I know you must think about ALL of the above being pretty ridiculous. ALL of it should be fiction. Unfortunately, one of the above, the incident in Dallas is true. Shame on John Wiley Price and Judge Thomas Jones for wasting all of our time with their silliness. Hopefully one day soon their names will fall down the black hole of forgotten politicians.