Garrison Keillor: The Jews Have Screwed Up Our Christmas

Jews have been accused of many Ills by the bigots of the world, supposedly we control the banks, the media, foreign policy, and  the American Government (Thankfully Obama disproves that one). Lately Jews have been accused of creating swine flu and the housing bubble that created the economic crisis (well Barney Frank IS Jewish).

During the Christmas season, many bigots revive the old anti-Semitic slander of diacide, that the Jews killed Christ.

Garrison Keillor, of Prairie Home Companion fame has come up with a brand new slur for Christmas, the Jews ruined the holiday by writing lousy Christmas songs.

And all his hoo-ha about listening to the voice within and don't follow the path, make your own path and leave a trail and so forth, encouraged people who might've been excellent janitors to become bold and innovative economists who run a wealthy university into the ditch.

Unitarians listen to the Inner Voice and so they have no creed that they all stand up and recite in unison, and that's their perfect right, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong to rewrite "Silent Night." If you don't believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own damn "Silent Night" and leave ours alone. This is spiritual piracy and cultural elitism, and we Christians have stood for it long enough. And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write "Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we'll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah"? No, we didn't.

Christmas is a Christian holiday - if you're not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke, but don't mess with the Messiah.

Christmas does not need any improvements. It is a common, ordinary experience that resists brilliant innovation. Just make some gingerbread persons and light three candles and sing softly in dim light about the poor man gathering winter fu-u-el and the radiant beams and the holly and the ivy, and you've got it. Too many people work too hard to make Christmas perfect, find the perfect gifts, get a turkey that reaches 100 percent of potential. Perfection is a goal of brilliant people, and it is unnecessary where Christmas is concerned.

Maybe you are right Mr. Keillor, maybe young Israel Baline's Family (Irving Berlin) should not have disgraced the United States by coming here from Mogilev, Belarus in Russia after another pogrom burned their house down. For that matter, maybe Mel Torme's folks should have stayed in Russia also, that way you wouldn't have to expose your ears to that Jewish-written Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire. If Johnny Marks parents didn't escape from Russia, Garrison wouldn't be subjected to Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, or Holly Jolly Christmas.

Most people would say Christmas is a bit happier with all of those songs, and those holiday standards are almost like a gift from the Jews. But Mr. Keillor, maybe you are right Christmas in this country would be much better without all of that interference by those Jews.  Maybe Keillor is just being tongue and cheek, I don't think so, but even if he is, with all of the anti-Semitism in the world, for some reason I don't find it very funny. Mr. Keillor better be careful, if those other bigoted stories are true, we own the banks and can cut off your cash card any time we want.

(H/T Newsbusters)