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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Climate Change Moonbats Warn That Warming May Cause Aliens To Destroy Earth (Not A Joke)

This has do be the most crazy claim ever to come out of the Climate Change Moonbats cult.  But they propose that one of the reasons extra-terrestrial may visit our planet in the future is to attack us because of our global warming problem. They say that advanced civilizations charged with protecting our universe see changes in our atmosphere as an example of a world population out of control and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat. A ridiculous presumption because if Jersey Shore didn't do that, nothing will.

Maybe these scientists saw the summer's Green Lantern movie too many times.


This unusual speculative scenario is one of many developed by scientists at  Nasa and Penn State University. The scientists say that this scenario is unlikely but it was just on of the many possibilities unlikely, they say could play out should earthlings and ETs  contact at some point in the future.

Shawn Domagal-Goldman of Nasa's Planetary Science Division and his colleagues compiled a list of plausible outcomes that could unfold in the aftermath of a close encounter, to help humanity "prepare for actual contact".

In their report, Would Contact with Extraterrestrials Benefit or Harm Humanity? A Scenario Analysis, the researchers divide alien contacts into three broad categories: beneficial, neutral or harmful.

Beneficial encounters ranged from the mere detection of extraterrestrial intelligence (ETI), for example through the interception of alien broadcasts, to contact with cooperative organisms that help us advance our knowledge and solve global problems such as hunger, poverty and disease.
I wonder if they can help us figure out why my NY Jets always screw up in the 4th quarter of big playoff games.
Another beneficial outcome the authors entertain sees humanity triumph over a more powerful alien aggressor, or even being saved by a second group of ETs. "In these scenarios, humanity benefits not only from the major moral victory of having defeated a daunting rival, but also from the opportunity to reverse-engineer ETI technology," the authors write.
Like I said, just like Green Lantern.
Other kinds of close encounter may be less rewarding and leave much of human society feeling indifferent towards alien life. The extraterrestrials may be too different from us to communicate with usefully. They might invite humanity to join the "Galactic Club" only for the entry requirements to be too bureaucratic and tedious for humans to bother with.  
Maybe they sent down Barack Obama so we could get some experience with big tedious governments.

They could even become a nuisance, like the stranded, prawn-like creatures that are kept in a refugee camp in the 2009 South African movie, District 9, the report explains.

The most unappealing outcomes would arise if extraterrestrials caused harm to humanity, even if by accident. While aliens may arrive to eat, enslave or attack us, the report adds that people might also suffer from being physically crushed or by contracting diseases carried by the visitors. In especially unfortunate incidents, humanity could be wiped out when a more advanced civilisation accidentally unleashes an unfriendly artificial intelligence, or performs a catastrophic physics experiment that renders a portion of the galaxy uninhabitable.
To protect humanity these researcher warn us to watch what we broadcast because through our television, radio etc, we may be giving information to the enemy (I swear this isn't a joke), in particular the scientists warn against broadcasting information about our biological make-up, which could be used to manufacture weapons that target humans.

Maybe just in case we can convince one of the networks to a produce a 1,000 Reasons Why it Sucks to Eat Humans, television program, you know just in case.



The authors warn that extraterrestrials may be wary of civilisations that expand very rapidly, as these may be prone to destroy other life as they grow, just as humans have pushed species to extinction on Earth. In the most extreme scenario, aliens might choose to destroy humanity to protect other civilisations.

"A preemptive strike would be particularly likely in the early phases of our expansion because a civilisation may become increasingly difficult to destroy as it continues to expand. Humanity may just now be entering the period in which its rapid civilisational expansion could be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of the Earth's atmosphere, via greenhouse gas emissions," the report states.

"Green" aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet. "These scenarios give us reason to limit our growth and reduce our impact on global ecosystems. It would be particularly important for us to limit our emissions of greenhouse gases, since atmospheric composition can be observed from other planets," the authors write.

Green Aliens? Like Martians? No wait, now I understand, they must be talking about the aliens from the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Thank God!  Nothing to worry about folks, those Aliens were friendly.

2 comments:

A Conservative Teacher said...

I say 'bring it on'- our Marines would whip the snot out of any 'green-friendly' aliens that land and then steal their spaceships and lunch money.

Ken said...

Hyperspace bypass, man. I'm telling you.