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Monday, June 18, 2012

Chuck Schumer's Solution To The Bad Economy: Maple Syrup



As the United States economy continues to stagnate or (depending on who you talk to) slip toward a second recession, the senior senator from New York, Chuck Schumer has a solution to all of our problems....maple syrup.
Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) introduced an amendment to a Senate agriculture bill meant to promote maple syrup production.

The amendment (#2427) was introduced by Schumer on Thursday to the Agriculture Reform, Food and Jobs Act of 2012 (S.3240).

The amendment allows the secretary of Agriculture to introduce grants to states and tribal areas in an effort to promote maple syrup production through education and research, natural resource sustainability within the maple syrup industry, market production and efforts to expand maple sugaring activities. The secretary can also issue grants to states and tribal areas that make land available for "maple-sugaring activities."

The amendment defines maple sugaring as "means the collection of sap from any species of tree in the genus Acer for the purpose of boiling to produce food."

The amendment isn't the first piece of maple syrup legislation Schumer introduced. In November 2011 Schumer, along with five other senators, including Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), introduced a bill that outlawed selling fake maple syrup. The Maple Agriculture Protection and Law Enforcement (MAPLE) Act made selling fake maple syrup a felony offense with a penalty of up to five years in prison.
That's right, the economy is going to hell in a hand-basket, the deficit is over 16 Trillion, the Senate hasn't passed a budget since Barack Obama became president and Chuck Schumer is spending his time worrying about maple syrup.  The only explanation for this is that Schumer needs sticky hands to hold on to all of those campaign donations.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Another possibility is that someone from the Maple Industry is trying to get their donations to Chuckie-boy back thru subsidies

Steve Burri said...

Senator Schumer may have been channeling Roger Miller:

They say roses are red and violets are purple
Sugar is sweet and so is maple surple
Well I'm the seventh out of seven sons
My pappy was a pistol
I'm a son of a gun.


But I hope he was also thinking of the chorus:

Dang me, dang me
They oughta take a rope and hang me
High from the highest tree
Woman would you weep for me.