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Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Jesse Ventura Announces He Will Run As a Douche For President in 2016

Just what America needs another circus act who wants to be President. It looks as if Jesse Ventura, the former unsuccessful governor of Minnesota will Joining Donald Trump as the comic relief of the 2016 presidential campaign.  The major difference between the two is that Trump is merely a self-absorbed joke, Jesse Ventura is a conspiracy theorist and a douche (I know of no other way to describe a former Navy Seal who sues the widow of another Navy Seal).

The former WWF Star appeared on Piers Morgan's show last night to impart some of his "wisdom." He believes that he is a viable candidate because, like George Washington, he is not affiliated with a political party. Well Jesse, neither are Charlie Brown or Snoopy but  many would prefer the comic characters to a real cartoon such as you.
"As an independent, you don't want an incumbent, so the office will be wide open," he surmised. "I'll tell you right now what I would run on: I would run with no political party and I would give the people of the United States of America the opportunity to elect their first president since George Washington – the father of our country – who does not belong to a political party."

Having penned the literary offering "DemoCRIPS and ReBLOODlicans," Ventura has long been an outspoken critic of the United States' current two-party system. Speaking live with Piers Morgan, the man once known as "The Body" suggested he's not alone. And as such, he likes his chances in a race for the White House in three years time:

"I believe the time is right for that in 2016. I believe on that issue alone, you would have a great chance to win the presidency because there are that many people out there who are completely disgusted with both of these political parties, and would have the chance to make history and elect since George Washington, with no party affiliation, if Jesse Ventura ran."

Last week the former professional wrestler announced he is now suing the widow of  American Hero and former Navy SEAL Chris Kyle,for defamation because the soldier wrote about an alleged fight he had with Ventura.  Ventura initially filed the suit against  Kyle, the SEAL who had the most confirmed kills in American military history, because Kyle said that he knocked Ventura to the floor during a fight outside of a bar. Ventura, has now refiled the suit and against Kyle's wife Taya after Kyle was killed in February when he was shot by a former soldier who he was helping deal with PTSD. Real classy move.

Perhaps Ventura is running so he can prove those conspiracies he has been peddling on TruTV such as the "truth" about 9/11, the end of the world in 2012, how a Wall Street oligarchy manipulates stock prices, etc., a perfect background to be leader of the free world.

An unsuccessful governor, a former Navy Seal and foppish pro wrestler who sues a Navy Seal's widow and a man who believes in government conspiracies--yeah that's the ticket.

Here's an Idea since Trump is a birther and Ventura is a 9/11 truther, perhaps they can run for president together--you know rotate--one day Trump plays president, the other Ventura.

Forget it! It wont work.  Both of these circus acts would need to be president on the ODD days.

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