Tonight is Christmas Eve (or as my people call it erev Christmas). Many Christians think Jewish Children feel like Kyle from South Park on Christmas.
But nothing could be further from the truth. You see while all my Gentile friends are in Church or celebrating with family and loved ones...Christmas is the one day each year when that anti-Semitic creed is true. It is the one day where the Jews do control everything.
But don't feel bad about not understanding about Jews and Christmas. Most Jews can't even explain Christmas.
What most people don't realize is that the US Supreme Court has approved of Jews going to Chinese Restaurants on Christmas
You see we are happy when our Gentile Friends celebrate Christmas, that's why we wrote you all those nice Christmas songs like "White Christmas." And while you are celebrating your holiday, we are enjoying our traditions.
So from my Haimeshe Family to your Goyisha family, Have a Blessed Christmas surrounded by the love of family and friends.And if you need me for anything, you know where I will be (Let me know if you want me to bring you home some dumplings--they're Kosher)