6 Ways to Ruin Valentine's Day (brought to you by the Democrats)
1.) Wallow by yourself.
2.) Do the same thing year, after year, after YEAR.
3.) Stick your Valentine with a huge tab.
4.) Follow your Valentine, or a reporter, into the bathroom.
5.) Flirt with someone else.
6.) Not showing up.
(I had to add a 7th)
7.) Betray your valentine...
7A.) And hook-up with a new one.