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Sunday, April 12, 2015

Vote For Me, I Am Much Better Qualified Than Hillary Clinton


Hillary Clinton will formerly announce her candidacy for President today and after reading the build-up and the hype about her campaign and what she will focus on I came to the realization that I am just as qualified as Ms. Clinton to be President. So I will also announce my candidacy to be the 45th President of the United States.

The Glass Ceiling: A big part of Hillary's appeal is that she would be the first female President of the United States (and she would be).  But there also hasn't been a Jewish President, a Latino President, a Muslim President, an Asian President, et al. Should I be elected I would be the first Jewish President, breaking though a different glass ceiling.

The Middle Class: Apparently along with her lady-parts Hillary will be following Obama's 2012 strategy of improving the lives of the middle class and expanding opportunities for working families.  Ms. Clinton recently wrote that she hadn't driven a car in over a dozen years.  What the heck does she know about the middle class?  She was waited on hand and foot when she was first lady. And remember when she whined how broke she was when her husbands presidency was over? That was for about five minutes until she signed a multimillion dollar book deal...the woman is loaded.  And for the past year or so she had been adding to her wealth by giving speeches for $200k-$300k a pop.

Now I know all about the middle class, I have been busting my butt to make a living so my children can have a better life than me.  My wife a CPA has been working even harder especially during tax season.  I do sometimes use a car service when going to the airport, but besides those occasions I am behind the wheel driving myself somewhere or shlepping my kids around.  I live the life of a middle class working stiff and know what we need...lower taxes.. making it easier for companies to create jobs...the opportunity to make my own medical decisions instead of Obamacare.  And while not a top priority, if I were elected president I would get rid of the supposed ecology friendly laws that created toilet bowls that can't flush and light bulbs that take a week to get bright, and even then aren't bright enough.

I have never gotten a book deal for a few million dollars, however sometimes generous readers hit the tip jar because I work hard to tell the truth.  To be honest I will admit getting paid for making speeches, but generally the payments are in food...mostly bagels and coffee, never the $200k-$300k a pop that Hillary gets.

Foreign Policy: Face it, Hillary Clinton's only achievement as Secretary of State was to break an agreement between the US and Israel, making settlements an issue which delayed any Israeli Palestinian talks for years.  What else did she do?  There was the reset button with Russia which was not only mistranslated into Russian (she used the Russian word for overcharge not reset),  but for the last six years (four of them she was Secretary of State) the Russians have been taking advantage of a weak US foreign policy.  Under Hillary's tenure ISIS began, terrorism grew and lets not forget Benghazi where she lied and blamed things on a anti-Islam video.  She mismanaged the Arab spring forcing the Egyptian President out of office and ignoring the green revolution in Iran.  And don't forget the problems between Israel and Obama began under her tenure. That's because with the possible exception of the time from her first campaign  for a New York’s Senate seat in 2000 to her resignation from the Senate to become Secretary of State in January 2009-- except for the time she needed New York’s Jewish voting bloc, Hillary Clinton has never been pro-Israel.

As for me, I don't believe in rushing into war, but like Ronald Reagan I believe in peace through strength.  The United States should not nation build, but neither should we allow ourselves to be pushed around either.  We must destroy terrorist entities and we should be putting real sanctions on Russia.  I believe Israel is an ally and Iran is not, we should treat all of our allies better than our enemies. In fact to repair our relationship with the only democracy in the middle east, my first trip as President will be to Israel (as long as the feed me some good Kosher food). I will never support an Islamist revolution against one of our friends like Hillary did with Egypt.

Trustworthiness: Hillary has been chased by scandal her entire public life, most recently her emails and donations to the Clinton Foundation.  While I have erased plenty of emails its only because I work with public email accounts with volume limits. Should I be elected I promise to use the government's server for government work and limit my private emails to a secure private account on a government server. At the end of my term as the law requires all my emails will be reviewed to determine which get archived by the government.  As far as my wife's business, if elected she will sell her CPA practice so I can put her in charge of finding things in the budget that can be cut.  You should see her when the credit card bill comes...Jeff why did you buy this do we really need it? Did you check out competitors to get the best price...You give her the federal budget and the power to ask questions, I guarantee a balanced budget in four years.

Now please understand, while I do believe I am just as qualified as Ms. Clinton to be president, the majority of Republicans who are considering a presidential run are much better qualified than I am, and thus much better qualified than Hillary.  But in a race between the former Secretary of State and this blogger there is no contest, I am better qualified than Hillary Clinton.



7 comments:

Unknown said...

Well Jeff, no offense buddy; but, we have two Labrador Retrievers perched at our sides today and we would put their qualifications and pedigrees up against The Hildabeast any day!

Unknown said...

Labs are great dogs

Unknown said...

LOL

Unknown said...

lol
elect me I'm purrfect for the job :)
hillary is pure poison.

Unknown said...

I'd only ask that you stay out of cattle futures.Pork is OK..

Unknown said...

I'd vote for you!! Oh, and don't forget the low-flow shower heads. It takes three times as long to shower under those things :( :(

Unknown said...

LOL. Sorry, Jeff, but there's more to meeting our requirements. First, you'd have to acquire dual citizenship with Israel. Second, you have to carry a gun with a permit. Third, you'd have to love your christian brothers and sisters. And fourth, you'd have to be a non-GOP establishment republican. So Jeff, if you think you can meet these criteria, and I think you can, you've got my vote. PS: this was fun. toda.